As I begin to put the pen to the page, (or take a turn at the keys, rather), I must first let you in on a little secret: I AM TERRIFIED.
Terrified that this might be short-lived. Terrified that this may turn into something fruitful even, because no matter what direction this goes there will be a price to pay! With that disclaimer, I carry on...
About 20 years ago my parents discovered that my excessive singing and standing in front of a mirror, (or rather anything with a reflection really), with a hair brush in hand and a pony tail as high as Madonna's in the 80's maybe wasn't such a bad thing after all. I remember the moment I realized I had some sort of talent, (let's call it that since at 8 years old, I really didn't recognize it for what it is). I was preparing for my schools' talent show, and as I was standing in front of what seemed like a MILLION PEOPLE, (probably only 50 to give you some perspective), and listening as the intro played on the karaoke tape, I vividly remember being very focused on the music and that the time was drawing near when I was going to let out my first note in front of my first audience during my first performance (again, let's call it that since at 8 years old, I really didn't recognize it for what it would become).
Now, 20 years later, I find myself STUCK. That's right, I said it. STUCK. If you would've asked me right before that very first performance what it means to me to have a singing voice, I would've said, "I want to be famous..." That's really the only way I thought it worked. You were given some sort of talent and then MILLIONS of people, (now I'm actually picturing millions and not just 50), would come to hear that same voice....on the radio, maybe even on TV, and maybe, if you're lucky, inside someone's tape player....
Disclaimer #2: I have a crying 9 month old that I need to tend to....just woke from a nap (PAUSE).
But, the reality is, I never actually used my voice EVER in a way where I was trying to reach those millions! As I turned 28, (and, let's be honest, most of our creativity stems from our utter disappointment in ourselves when we reach a certain age), I realized that not only am I "running out of time" in the sense that another year has gone by where I haven't accomplished much with what I've been given, but I also have come to recognize the true relationship that I am suppose to have with my voice. You see, it's not about being famous, it's about being heard. It's not about me, but it's about what is within me.
Here's where you come in. It was my dear husband who penned the phrase, "I want kids to find themselves within the story," referring to a group of about 600+ middle school kids who attempt to read the bible and encounter a relationship with Jesus...
I need your help as I embark upon this journey of SONGWRITING and creating my first album. My prayer is that you would find yourself in each story and come alongside this person inside of me that is HUNGRY for creativity to enter into her life and finally use the "much" that she's been given. I want your feedback, I want your thoughts. It's rare to let others enter in on this type of process, but most of all, I NEED ACCOUNTABILITY!
Until the next time I'm feeling inspired...
Peace <><
"The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity." - Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
