And then there was ONE...

Hey Team,

First of all, thanks for following me :) Blogging is quite a humbling experience, and not to mention SUPER unnatural for me, but if I can be transparent in any way, shape or form that could then transform a life or two or have ANY sort of positive influence and inspiration then this is why I'm all in!

So, an update....I feel I should start by saying, "Dear Diary, oh how I've missed you...it's been so long! I promise to write in you everyday....." Remember making that promise when you were a kid???

Anyway, it's been a while, but apparently, that's my style! Though I do want to be more active on this blog, I will remind you that the process of writing is a long one. I've learned that through accountability comes focus and excellence! I'm creating a product. Others will use it. It needs to be great!

Before I share my FIRST and latest project, I wanted to give you an update on the SOUL searching, or maybe better said, REVELATION we'll call it, that I've since been on! This past summer and now into the fall, I've been SO FORTUNATE to be a part of my church's worship team on several occasions! Disclaimer: only made possible with the multitude of volunteers around me that support and encourage me to step away from my vocational area ("Kid-O-Deo"), and dip my feet into the "Big People Church" (meaning, "grown-ups" to young kids, not the actual size of the people). Carrying on....What I've learned through those various moments and glimpses into this unique way of responding to God in LOVE and HONOR is that worship simply POURS out of me! My heart is HEAVY AND HUGE when I am worshipping him with my voice and with talented musicians around me! My desire to lead people in the most intimate conversation with God they're sometimes not even aware they're having is what makes the hairs on my neck and the pit in my stomach dance!!

So, I write. I Write Worship. (T-Shirt logo?).....

I sit at the piano. Converse with God. And, find just the right melody line to express to him even further my love, faithfulness, and honor to be in his presence!

That said, worship music is simple. It's repeatable. It's the ONE expression you can't possibly go another minute without sharing...It's where everyone else is at that moment in time when the words are expressed. You WILL still findyourselfinthestory. My prayer is that you do.....

Worship. It's powerful. It UNITES me and YOU.

The last thing I'll say before I upload my recent song/project (actually, it's not letting me - I'll try to make a youtube video...seems that will be my best bet to get it to you)....I have a friend who's helping me, musically, to make these songs even better than the basic words and simple melodies! I'm fortunate to have people around me who can make a song excellent! Simply put: It's what God deserves....

May God guide my writing, and may it flow from a place that draws out truth and honor every piece of his mission and message for his people!

Peace,
Emily <><
PS.....I love my church - Eagle Brook Church (try church again.....)

Working Hard? Or, hardly working...?

As a child, we grow up learning that we can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone. We don't have limitations because we're children with high hopes and high dreams that we can achieve anything. The problem with this mentality is that when we reach for things and learn they are outside of our natural abilities, the veil is torn and we are no longer able to do anything, go anywhere, or be anyone. We find out where we're inadequate (and then we learn what that word means).

So, here I am in all my inadequacies....

What have I been doing the past month, one might ask...? Good question. Here's my best answer. SOME THINGS. Not SOMETHING, but some THINGS. Have I moved forward in this project? YES. Have I written a song? YES. But, it's a constant stream of inadequate feelings that stops me from posting to my blog, or even sitting down at the piano. You know, I've heard that in order to write a song you have to have a melody line, notes that flatter each word. I don't have that.

What's my fear? My fear is the very thing I love most in this world, (next to my husband and my son)...THE MUSIC. What if I write a melody line that sounds like everyone else's? What if I can't come up with anything? What if I simply forget the small taste of what I know of the keyboard?

My question for you all to ponder, and I am there with you in this: Why do we fail to look at what we CAN do (like when we were kids), and instead focus on the veil that was torn a long time ago, when failure creeped in and the realization sunk in that maybe we CAN'T simply just DO?

I'll leave you with my recent thought, and I promise that the next time the pen hits the page of this blog it will be words with notes flickering on around them :-)

RECENT THOUGHT: We do have the "world," so to speak, at our fingertips. The thing we miss is that in the midst of being taught that we can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone, we miss out on the WORK that has to go into it. I wish I would've stayed in piano lessons when I was in first grade. That would make this project easier. I wish I would've invested more time in voice lessons. That would make this project easier. What I have come to learn, (a lesson I should've learned a long time ago), is that it takes discipline and focus to reach those dreams you are confident in as a child.

If I don't discipline myself, I don't achieve. If I don't achieve, I regret. If I regret, them I don't influence.

I'll leave you with this: I think it was Wayne Gretzky who coined the phrase, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." If you don't take 'em, you don't make 'em.

Here's to maximizing on the gifts and opportunities that God has given me.

God, I want to honor you with my voice and my words. Always.

Peace,
Emily <><
PS....Have I thanked you yet for reading this blog? Thank you.

The First of Many ... (I Hope!)

As I begin to put the pen to the page, (or take a turn at the keys, rather), I must first let you in on a little secret: I AM TERRIFIED.

Terrified that this might be short-lived. Terrified that this may turn into something fruitful even, because no matter what direction this goes there will be a price to pay! With that disclaimer, I carry on...

About 20 years ago my parents discovered that my excessive singing and standing in front of a mirror, (or rather anything with a reflection really), with a hair brush in hand and a pony tail as high as Madonna's in the 80's maybe wasn't such a bad thing after all. I remember the moment I realized I had some sort of talent, (let's call it that since at 8 years old, I really didn't recognize it for what it is). I was preparing for my schools' talent show, and as I was standing in front of what seemed like a MILLION PEOPLE, (probably only 50 to give you some perspective), and listening as the intro played on the karaoke tape, I vividly remember being very focused on the music and that the time was drawing near when I was going to let out my first note in front of my first audience during my first performance (again, let's call it that since at 8 years old, I really didn't recognize it for what it would become).

Now, 20 years later, I find myself STUCK. That's right, I said it. STUCK. If you would've asked me right before that very first performance what it means to me to have a singing voice, I would've said, "I want to be famous..." That's really the only way I thought it worked. You were given some sort of talent and then MILLIONS of people, (now I'm actually picturing millions and not just 50), would come to hear that same voice....on the radio, maybe even on TV, and maybe, if you're lucky, inside someone's tape player....

Disclaimer #2: I have a crying 9 month old that I need to tend to....just woke from a nap (PAUSE).

But, the reality is, I never actually used my voice EVER in a way where I was trying to reach those millions! As I turned 28, (and, let's be honest, most of our creativity stems from our utter disappointment in ourselves when we reach a certain age), I realized that not only am I "running out of time" in the sense that another year has gone by where I haven't accomplished much with what I've been given, but I also have come to recognize the true relationship that I am suppose to have with my voice. You see, it's not about being famous, it's about being heard. It's not about me, but it's about what is within me.

Here's where you come in. It was my dear husband who penned the phrase, "I want kids to find themselves within the story," referring to a group of about 600+ middle school kids who attempt to read the bible and encounter a relationship with Jesus...

I need your help as I embark upon this journey of SONGWRITING and creating my first album. My prayer is that you would find yourself in each story and come alongside this person inside of me that is HUNGRY for creativity to enter into her life and finally use the "much" that she's been given. I want your feedback, I want your thoughts. It's rare to let others enter in on this type of process, but most of all, I NEED ACCOUNTABILITY!

Until the next time I'm feeling inspired...

Peace <><

"The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity."  - Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection